Friday, June 25, 2010

YOU CAN'T FIX STUPID

  ACTUAL ' CALL  CENTER ' CALLS . . . . .

Customer:    'I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get  through;  can you help?'
 Operator:    'Where did you get that number, sir?'
 Customer:    'It's on the door of your business.'
 Operator:    'Sir, those are the hours that we are open.'
 ---------------------------------------------------------------------

 Samsung Electronics

 Caller:   'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
 Operator:  'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.'
 Caller:  'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly 
 states  that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and  telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'
 Operator:  'I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.'
 ----------------------------------------------------------------------

 RAC Motoring Services

Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling  in  Australia  ?'
Operator:    'Does the product name give you a clue?'
 ----------------------------------------------------------------------

 Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in  Europe  ): 'If  I register my car in  France  , and then take it to  England  , do I have  to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'
 ----------------------------------------------------------------------

 Directory Enquiries

 Caller:  'I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please'
 Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?'
 Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off.'
 ----------------------------------------------------------------------

 Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.

 Operator:  'Woven? Are you sure?'
 Caller:  'Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in 
 Scotland'

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------

 On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:
Caller:  'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number  on.'
 ----------------------------------------------------------------------

 Tech Support:  'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'
 Customer:    'OK.'
 Tech Support:  'Did you get a pop-up menu?'
 Customer:    'No.'
 Tech Support:  'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
 Customer:  'No.'
 Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'
 Customer:    'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.'

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------

 Tech Support: 'OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you  see the 'OK' button displayed?'
 Customer: 'Wow! How can you see my screen from there?'
 ----------------------------------------------------------------------

 Caller:  'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?'

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------

 This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring  the customer care department.. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was 
 fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.'

 Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.  (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

 Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
 Caller:    'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
 Operator:  'What sort of trouble??'
 Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
 Operator: 'Went away?'
 Caller:  'They disappeared.'
 Operator:  'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'
 Caller:    'Nothing.'
 Operator: 'Nothing??'
 Caller:  'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
 Operator:  'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'
 Caller:    'How do I tell?'
 Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen??'
 Caller:  'What's a sea-prompt?'
 Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
 Caller:  'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
 Operator:    'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
 Caller:      'What's a monitor?'
 Operator:  'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.  Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'
 Caller:  'I don't know.'
 Operator:    'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
 Caller:  'Yes, I think so.'
 Operator:  'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall..
 Caller:  'Yes, it is..'
 Operator:  'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there  were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'
 Caller:  'No.'
 Operator:  'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
 Caller:  'Okay, here it is.'
 Operator:  'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into  the back of your computer.'
 Caller:  'I can't reach.'
 Operator:  'OK. Well, can you see if it is??'
 Caller:  'No..'
 Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way  over??'
 Calle  'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark.'
 Operator:  'Dark??'
 Caller:  'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.'
 Operator:  'Well, turn on the office light then.'
 Caller:  'I can't.'
 Operator:  'No? Why not??'
 Caller:  'Because there's a power failure.'
 Operator: 'A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked  now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your  computer came in??'
 Caller:  'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
 Operator:  'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
 Caller:  'Really?  Is it that bad?'
 Operator:  'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
 Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'
 Operator: 'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer

So much for call centers. they really have a difficult job.

Cattle Guards

Your government at work………





You will love this one, I haven't stop laughing yet………….

For those of you who have never traveled to the west, or southwest, cattle guards are horizontal steel rails placed at fence openings, in dug-out places in the roads adjacent to highways (sometimes across highways), to prevent cattle from crossing over that area. For some reason the cattle will not step on the "guards," probably because they fear getting their feet caught between the rails.

A few months ago, President Obama received
 and was reading a report that there were over 100,000 cattle guards in Colorado . Colorado ranchers had protested his proposed changes in grazing policies, so he ordered the Secretary of the Interior to fire half of the “cattle” guards immediately!!

Before the Secretary
 of the Interior could respond and presumably try to straighten him out, Vice-President, Joe Biden, intervenewith a request that…. before any “cattle” guards were fired, they be given six months of retraining.
And these guys are running our country, OMG!!

TODAY'S LESSON

Today's  Inspirational Lesson


Never irritate a woman,who can operate a backhoe... 



Thus endeth the lesson.

 
 Women are Angels...And when someone breaks our wings...We simply continue to fly....on a broomstick...We are flexible like that...


For the one who was born in 198x: Great childhood time....

Hey fren, Can u remember this?? 
Can u remember this?? 




























































































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