Friday, July 25, 2008

Pesan roh

TAZKIRAH I

Apabila roh keluar dari jasad, ia akan berkata-kata dan seluruh isi alam sama ada di langit atau bumi akan mendengarnya kecuali jin dan manusia.

Apabila mayat dimandikan, lalu roh berkata : "Wahai orang yang memandikan,
aku minta kepadamu kerana Allah untuk melepaskan pakaianku dengan perlahan-lahan sebab pada saat ini aku beristirahat daripada seretan malaikat maut".

Selepas itu, mayat pula bersuara sambil merayu : "Wahai orang yang memandikan, janganlah engkau menuangkan airmu dalam keadaan panas. Begitu
juga jangan menuangnya dengan air yang dingin kerana tubuhku terbakar apabila terlepasnya roh dari tubuh".

Apabila dimandikan, roh sekali lagi merayu :"Demi Allah, wahai orang yang
memandikan jangan engkau menggosok aku dengan kuat sebab tubuhku luka-luka
dengan keluarnya roh".

Setelah dimandi dan dikafankan, telapak kaki mayat diikat dan ia pun memanggil-manggil dan berpesan lagi supaya jangan diikat terlalu kuat serta
mengafani kepalanya kerana ingin melihat wajahnya sendiri, anak-anak, isteri
atau suami buat kali terakhir kerana tidak dapat melihat lagi sampai Hari Kiamat.

Sebaik keluar dari rumah lalu ia berpesan : "Demi Allah, wahai jemaahku, aku
telah meniggalkan isteriku menjadi janda. Maka janganlah kamu menyakitinya. Anak-anakku telah menjadi yatim dan janganlah kalian menyakiti mereka. Sesungguhnya pada hari itu aku telah keluar dari rumahku dan aku tidak akan dapat kembali kepada mereka buat selama-lamanya".

Sesudah mayat diletakkan pada pengusung, sekali lagi diserunya kepada jemaah
supaya jangan mempercepatkan mayatnya ke kubur selagi belum mendengar suara
anak-anak dan sanak saudara buat kali terakhir.

Sesudah dibawa dan melangkah sebanyak tiga langkah dari rumah, roh pula berpesan: "Wahai Kekasihku, wahai saudaraku dan wahai  anak-anakku, jangan
kamu diperdaya dunia sebagaimana ia memperdayakan aku dan janganlah kamu
lalai ketika ini sebagaimana ia melalaikan aku".  "Sesungguhnya aku tinggalkan apa yang aku telah aku kumpulkan untuk  warisku dan sedikitpun
mereka tidak mahu menanggung kesalahanku".  "Adapun didunia, Allah menghisab
aku, padahal kamu berasa senang dengan keduniaan. Dan mereka juga tidak mahu
mendoakan aku".













TAZKIRAH II

Ada satu riwayat drp Abi Qalabah mengenai mimpi beliau yang  melihat kubur
pecah.  Lalu mayat-mayat itu keluar dari duduk di tepi kubur masing-masing. Bagaimanapun tidak seorang pun ada tanda-tanda memperolehi nur di  muka
mereka.  Dalam mimpi itu, Abi Qalabah dapat melihat jirannya juga dalam keadaan yang sama.   Lalu dia bertanya kepada mayat jirannya mengenai ketiadaan nur itu.  Maka mayat itu menjawab: "Sesungguhnya bagi mereka yang
memperolehi nur adalah kerana petunjuk drpd anak-anak dan teman-teman. Sebaliknya aku mempunyai anak-anak yang tidak soleh dan tidak pernah mendoakan  aku".

Setelah mendengar jawapan mayat itu, Abi Qalabah pun terjaga. Pada malam
itu juga dia memanggil anak jirannya dan menceritakan apa yang dilihatnya
dalam mimpi mengenai bapa mereka.  Mendengar keadaan itu, anak-anak jiran
itu berjanji di hadapan Abi Qalabah akan mendoa dan bersedekah untuk bapanya.  Seterusnya tidak lama selepas itu, Abi Qalabah sekali lagi bermimpi melihat jirannya. Bagaimanapun kali ini jirannya sudah ada nur dimukanya dan kelihatan lebih terang daripada matahari.

Baginda Rasullullah S.A.W berkata:

Apabila telah sampai ajal seseorang itu maka akan masuklah satu kumpulan
malaikat ke dalam lubang-lubang kecil dalam badan dan kemudian mereka menarik rohnya melalui kedua-dua telapak kakinya sehingga sampai kelutut. Setelah itu datang pula sekumpulan malaikat yang lain masuk menarik roh dari lutut hingga sampai ke perut dan kemudiannya mereka keluar. Datang lagi satu kumpulan  malaikat yang lain masuk dan menarik rohnya  dari perut hingga sampai ke dada dan kemudiannya mereka keluar.Dan akhir  sekali datang lagi satu kumpulan malaikat masuk dan menarik roh dari dadanya hingga sampai ke kerongkong dan itulah yang dikatakan saat nazak  orang itu."

Sambung Rasullullah S.A.W. lagi:

"Kalau orang yang nazak itu orang yang beriman, maka malaikat Jibrail A.S.
akan menebarkan sayapnya yang di sebelah kanan sehingga orang yang nazak itu dapat melihat kedudukannya di syurga. Apabila orang yang  beriman itu melihat syurga, maka dia akan lupa kepada orang yang berada di sekelilinginya. Ini adalah kerana sangat rindunya pada syurga dan melihat terus pandangannya kepada sayap Jibrail  A.S.

"Kalau orang yang nazak itu orang munafik, maka Jibrail A.S. akan menebarkan
sayap di sebelah kiri. Maka orang yang nazak tu dapat melihat kedudukannya di
neraka dan dalam masa itu orang itu tidak lagi melihat orang di sekelilinginya. Ini adalah kerana terlalu takutnya apabila melihat neraka yang akan menjadi tempat tinggalnya.

Dari sebuah hadis bahawa apabila Allah S.W.T. menghendaki seorang mukmin itu dicabut nyawanya maka datanglah malaikat maut. Apabila malaikat maut
hendak mencabut roh orang mukmin itu dari arah mulut maka keluarlah zikir dari mulut orang mukmin itu dengan berkata:  "Tidak  ada jalan bagimu mencabut rohorang ini melalui jalan ini kerana  orang  ini sentiasa menjadikan lidahnya berzikir kepada Allah S.W.T."  Setelah malaikat maut
mendengar penjelasan itu, maka dia pun kembali  kepada AllahS.W.T. dan menjelaskan apa yang diucapkan oleh lidah orang  mukmin itu.

Lalu Allah S.W.T. berfirman yang bermaksud: "Wahai malaikat  maut, kamu cabutlah ruhnya dari arah lain."  Sebaik saja malaikat maut mendapat perintah Allah S.W.T. maka malaikat  maut pun cuba mencabut roh orang mukmin dari arah tangan.  Tapi  keluarlah  sedekah dari arah tangan orang mukmin itu, keluarlah usapan kepala anak-anak  yatim dan keluar penulisan ilmu. Maka berkata tangan: Tidak ada jalan bagimu untuk mencabut roh orang mukmin dari arah ini, tangan ini telah mengeluarkan sedekah, tangan ini mengusap kepala anak-anak yatim dan tangan ini menulis ilmu pengetahuan."

Oleh kerana malaikat maut gagal untuk mencabut roh orang mukmin dari arah tangan maka malaikat maut cuba pula dari arah kaki. Malangnya malaikat maut juga gagal melakukan sebab kaki berkata: Tidak ada jalan bagimu dari arah ini kerana kaki ini sentiasa berjalan berulang alik mengerjakan solat dengan berjemaah dan kaki ini juga berjalan menghadiri majlis-majlis ilmu." Apabila gagal malaikat maut,mencabut roh orang mukmin dari arah kaki, maka malaikat maut cuba pula dari arah telinga. Sebaik saja malaikat maut menghampiri telinga maka telinga pun berkata: "Tidak ada jalan  bagimu dari arah ini kerana telinga ini sentiasa mendengar bacaan Al-Quran  dan  zikir." Akhir sekali malaikat maut cuba mencabut orang mukmin dari arah mata tetapi baru saja hendak menghampiri mata maka berkata mata: "Tidak ada jalan bagimu dari
arah ini sebab mata ini sentiasa melihat  beberapa  mushaf  dan kitab-kitab
dan mata ini sentiasa menangis kerana takutkan  Allah."

Setelah gagal maka malaikat maut kembali kepada Allah S.W.T. Kemudian Allah S.W.T. berfirman yang bermaksud:"Wahai malaikatKu, tulis AsmaKu ditelapak tanganmu dan tunjukkan kepada roh orang yang beriman itu."  Sebaik saja  mendapat perintah Allah S.W.T. maka malaikat maut menghampiri roh  orang  itu  dan menunjukkan Asma Allah S.W.T. Sebaik saja melihat Asma Allah  dan  cintanya kepada Allah S.W.T maka keluarlah roh tersebut dari arah mulut  dengan tenang.

AbuBakarR.A. telah ditanya tentang kemana roh pergi setelah ia keluar dari
jasad. Maka berkata Abu Bakar R.A: "Roh itu menuju ketujuh tempat:-

1. Roh para Nabi dan utusan menuju ke Syurga Adnin.
2. Roh para ulama menuju ke Syurga Firdaus.
3. Roh mereka yang berbahagia menuju ke Syurga Illiyyina.
4. Roh para shuhada berterbangan seperti burung di syurga mengikut kehendak
mereka.
5.Roh para mukmin yang berdosa akan tergantung di udara tidak di bumi dan
tidak di langit sampai hari kiamat.
6. Roh anak-anak orang yang beriman akan berada di gunung dari minyak misik.
7.Roh orang-orang kafir akan berada dalam neraka Sijjin, mereka diseksa berserta jasadnya hingga sampai hari Kiamat."

Telah bersabda Rasullullah S.A.W: Tiga kelompok manusia yang akan dijabat tangannya oleh para malaikat pada hari mereka keluar dari kuburnya:-

1. Orang-orang yang mati syahid.
2. Orang-orang yang mengerjakan solat malam dalam bulan ramadhan.
3. Orang berpuasa di hari Arafah.




Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Long-distance love: How to keep ties strong across the miles

December 25, 2000
From UnderWire

Long-distance love: How to keep ties strong across the miles
By Rhona Raskin



Some people think a long-distance relationship (LDR) is when you're dating someone who lives more than 15 minutes away by bus. For most, however, it means at least a car trip — including a minimum of at least one pit stop and a two-sandwich road lunch.

LDRs require more effort than the regular, close-by kind, since the object of desire is generally unavailable for last-minute bowling dates, or successive weekends lolling about in each other's boring company. LDRs include higher phone bills and/or a great deal of spare time on-line, dropping e-mails and catching up in chat rooms.

There's a certain élan to the fact that the two bodies occupy different zip codes; separation in space and time adds mystery to the connection.

From the time we are teens, we dream about meeting someone from a far-off city, or falling in love with a foreign prince — and the idea that "somewhere else" is sexier remains with us through life. With global vacationing ("How was Borneo?") and technology that allows us to connect instantly to strangers around the planet, it is inevitable that someone you know will have an LDR of one magnitude or another. There are of course pluses to this — like assured privacy during "off-time," when one or both may pursue interests that are totally consuming. This can mean an obsession with archeology or raku pottery — or a secret extra relationship.

When the twosome does occupy the same time zone and geographical vicinity, there is a tendency to be nice — to be good company and use the limited time wisely. This works well for lovers who adore each other, those who fantasize about being together after school is over, or after the Belgrade posting is done. For some — military wives, for example — it may mean resentment about a partner being away from parenting responsibilities and missing the day-to-day life that gives companionship and perspective.

To be successful, the LDR must have a few important features:

1. First, a level of trust. Separate social lives are a built-in necessity. They need to flourish without acid conditions and apologetic stances. Those who linger at home, awaiting a potential mushy phone merger at the expense of having a life, will find resentment accrues. You can't bolt a minicam to your belt to appease a jealous partner — and who'd want to even if you could.

2. Second, the level of commitment needs to be in place. This enhances the future of the relationship as it matures and changes. LDRs are feasible if they have an end date — it's important that people know they are going to be residing on the same plot of land (or at least the same state) at some time in the foreseeable future.

3. Third, you need to have strong communication skills. Without input, couples can become strangers quickly. Some are inventive and extend the intimacy to phone sex.

4. Fourth, you need a realistic view of the detached alliance. Can both parties live with the idea that far-off plans may change — that there may be no date for Cousin Minnie's wedding? What happens if the cute guy in cubicle 17 sends "I'm interested" vibes"? When do you reveal that feelings are changing? Do you do it in person or over the phone? Is either party good at entertaining themselves or will there be tears when one needs to lean heavily on the relationship? Because of all of this, independent types do better with this arrangement.

Some relationships actually start out as LDRs. The play 84, Charing Cross Road was based on the correspondence between two writers who shared their life experiences in writing, but never actually met. This may be the ultimate LDR — no reality testing of the information exchanged. Off the stage, these types of long-distance connections usually start out in chat rooms on the Net.

The built-in problem is that despite all the intimate revelations and a mountain of calls and mail, there is always the unexpected waiting for the in-person picture. There's that cold sore he forgot to mention, or the new religion she is investigating ("Did I mention this is my celibate month?"). No matter how much information is exchanged back and forth, the body language and chemistry can be astonishingly dissimilar to the expectation.

For those hooked on new beginnings, the Long Distance Relationship can have its fabulous features. It's also great for those who — if they were honest — would admit they are more comfortable with a part-time partner, since too much closeness gives them hives. Many successful cross-country connections are the short-lived kind — exciting, exotic and expiration date visible.

Long-term successes tend to have a bigger life plan, the ones who know they will eventually wake up in bed together — without having to check the calendar.


Rhona Raskin is a family therapist and clinical counselor in Vancouver, B.C., and the host of Canada's top call-in radio show, "Rhona At Night." Her latest book is Ask Me Anything.


Thursday, July 10, 2008

M or F?

By Evany Thomas

In chat rooms everywhere people exchange the most intimate details. But how
do you know when they're telling the truth? Here's a guide for those moments
when you simply must know who, or what, you're talking to.

As a forum for meeting potential mates, the chat room is the ultimate in
blind dating. Curiosity about the identities of fellow mad chatters is
unavoidable — though not knowing for sure who you're "talking" to is one of
the reasons it's so thrilling. I mean, the person on the receiving end of
your 70 double entendres per minute could be anyone, and so can you ("Oh, I
gave up modeling to train organ-grinder monkeys"). It's just like "Fantasy
Island"!

But some people just have to know who's what. Spend any time cyberflirting,
and it's only a matter of time before someone asks you that question: "M or
F?"

If you're one of these can't-leave-the-presents-wrapped-until-Christmas
types, then there are a few things you can try to find out whether the person
that's got you logging on 40 times a day is an "innie" or an "outtie." It's a
boy! No wait … It's a girl!

Say you're a woman looking for a bona fide male specimen. Certain
Y-chromosome-detecting questions might solve the mystery. "Bachelor Number
One, describe to me, in loving detail, how you shave away two-day stubble."
Other possibilities: "Recite the Boy Scout Oath." "Explain Dungeons and
Dragons" or "What's up with football?"

If you're trying to find out if someone's 101 percent woman, ask "What do you
call makeup that you use on eyelashes?" Men rarely know the meaning of the
word "mascara." But watch out! If their gender-bending ways go beyond the
Net, they might be savvy in the ways of Great Lash (which would really throw
a wrench in your quiz). So if (s)he makes it past the mascara level, go for
the big guns: the fail-safe, "What's the green color mean in tamponese?" Few
men know their slender-regulars from their supers.

Asking only man/woman-would-know queries seems like a perfect way to strain
out undesirables, like oh-so-much dolphin from tuna. Unfortunately, there's a
Catch-22: If I, as a woman, know the answer to the questions that only men
should know, then the test is invalid. If I don't know the answer to the
question, Mr(Ms). Right could serve up an answer that sounds correct, but is
really nothing but bull (or perhaps cow?). And a smooth-talking liar, male or
female, is the last thing you want.

You could run the answers by a trusted male friend who would, in theory, know
whether or not the answers were sufficiently manly. But even then you'd never
be totally sure. My boyfriend, when asked these man-detector Qs, didn't know
his D'n'D from his third down. Yet he's all man. Unfortunately, gender roles
in the '90s don't fall into neat, easy-to-define categories. Men tear up
during "Forest Gump." Women get pumped playing paintball.

The only way to make sure is with videoconference, where you can see live
footage of the person in question. Of course if you're paranoid like me, you
could imagine the person hiring an actor to play the part (a la Cyrano). Then
again, (s)he could simply be a very good cross dresser, which you could
probably "expose" if you asked the right questions. But then you're getting
into a whole new chat genre (and the person might decide your untrusting ways
border on the psychotic and ditch you).

Which leads us to the crux of the matter. You can never be totally sure about
anyone. At a certain point, you just have to trust that people aren't lyin'
when they oughta be truthin' and hope for the best. That's a fact of life,
and not just life on the Internet (or similarly mysterious personal ads or
phone sex).

I'm talking about the way things are in the "real" world. How many times have
you met someone standing, say, in the 10-items-or-less lane, and thought they
were the cat's purr. Then a few days, weeks, or (shudder) years later you
realized that they were a total fraud, sham, $3 bill phony? (Did anyone see
"Taxi Driver"? Grow up with "Lola" by the Kinks?) Sure, a friend of mine met
her husband online and three months into the marriage she found out he was —
ta-da! — an abusive drug addict. But I've also met some great, long-term,
real-life friends over the Internet. Off or online, life's a piñata: you
blindly whack away at it and hope things bust open to reveal money, prizes
and Sweet Tarts (and not some freaky, stale candy from 1972).

Depressing but true, sometimes the "pinata" disappoints. But, again, either
you find a way to put back on the blindfold and trust again, or you lock all
your doors and windows and Miss Havisham your life away. Of course, that kind
of hermit crabbiness doesn't necessarily stand in the way of the occasional
online affair or three.

If you never meet the e-person in the flesh (so to speak), then it doesn't
matter who, or even what, "it" is — just as long as it's not underage, which
is a different matter entirely. Good luck!

Evany Thomas is senior editor for Webmonkey, and she's 100 percent woman.



Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Laughing out loud: scientists have made new discoveries about laughter



The Science of Laughs

Scanning brains and eavesdropping on chimps, researchers are figuring out why we chuckle, guffaw and crack up. Hint: it isn’t funny.

By Sharon Begley
NEWSWEEK

      October 9 issue: The man was known around town as a
chronic borrower, always asking the neighbors to lend him one
tool or another. So when he strolled over to Mr. Green one
Sunday and asked, “Say, are you using your lawn mower today?”
Green had a ready answer. “Yes, I am,” he said emphatically.
         TO WHICH THE would-be borrower replied, "Great! Then
since you won't need your golf clubs, I'll just borrow those."

        If you are like most people, that punch line triggered
at least one short exhalation of breath chopped into staccato
segments lasting about one fifteenth of a second each and spaced
one fifth of a second apart. In other words, laughter. Exactly
why humor causes this acoustic response (rather than, say, sweaty
palms or any other physiological reaction) has been lost in the
mists of evolution. Thinkers from Plato and Aristotle to Kant,
Darwin and Freud have tried to fathom laughter (Plato feared it
would disrupt the state, and Kant theorized that it arises when
what you expect to happen doesn't, which is why surprising punch
lines work), but they've been long on philosophy and short on
science. Lately, though, an intrepid band of researchers has
been trying to remedy that. With techniques like MRI brain scans
to probe why people cannot tickle themselves into paroxysms of
laughter, they are tackling "one of the last great unsolved
problems in human behavior," says neuroscientist Robert Provine
of the University of Maryland, whose book, "Laughter: A
Scientific Investigation," will be published next week. And no,
he's not referring to why guys are always walking into bars with
ducks under their arms.

 "Laughter," says Provine, "is a probe into such fundamental
questions as why humans can speak but other apes can't."
ROBERT PROVINE
University of Maryland

           To investigate the roots of laughter, scientists have
turned to our primate cousins. If you tickle a chimp (carefully;
and preferably a baby), it will likely laugh, but the sound
doesn_t resemble human laughter so much as it does panting, with
one sound per inhale and exhale. Provine realized that the
reason chimps cannot emit a string of "ho ho ho's" is that they
cannot make more than a single sound when they exhale or inhale.
Humans, in contrast, can chop up a single exhalation into
multiple bursts of "ha ha ha" or words. (Speech results from
chopping up an exhalation into separate sounds.) "Laughter,"
says Provine, "is a probe into such fundamental questions as why
humans can speak but other apes can't." No humanlike laughing,
no speaking.

        The fact that chimps pant while playing suggests that
laughter evolved from the heavy breathing that accompanies
something like playful wrestling. Ritualized
panting laughter then might have come to represent the playful
activity itself, signaling "I'm enjoying this." For there is no
question that human laughter is a social behavior. (You would
have laughed more at the borrow-the-mower joke if you had heard
it read aloud while in a group, rather than reading it silently
and alone.)

        But what do titters communicate? Some clues come from
Provine's collection of 1,200 "laugh episodes," from
eavesdropping in public places. He finds that speakers laugh
more than listeners, and women laugh at men more than vice
versa. (Laughing behind their backs doesn't count.) Laughter
seems to signal an attempt to ingratiate oneself: in India,
notes Provine, men of lower castes giggle when addressing men of
higher castes, but never the other way round. People in power
seldom giggle. More evidence that laughing has less to do with
humor than with social signals is that, in Provine's 1,200
samples, by far the remarks that most often elicited laughter
were of the _it was nice meeting you, too" or "I know" variety.
In other words, witless. "Laughter is only rarely a response to
jokes," says Provine. "It is, instead, the quintessential human
social signal. It solidifies relationships and pulls people into
the fold." And not only for the good. The Columbine killers
laughed as they shot, demonstrating solidarity with each other
and, needless to say, not their targets. Evil laughter is no
oxymoron.

        Laughter is contagious, for reasons that remain pretty
murky, but while you can catch it from others you can_t induce
it in yourself. Forced laughter sounds, well, forced. And
tickling yourself is a non-starter. There have been all sorts of
theories about why, but recent experiments led by Sarah-Jayne
Blakemore of University College, London, may have finally
revealed the answer. The neuroscientists used functional MRI to
(noninvasively) peer into the brains of volunteers who either
tickled themselves or were tickled by a robotic tickler.

The fMRI detected more neuronal activity in the somatosensory
cortex, the part of the brain that registers touch, when people
were tickled than when they tickled themselves. The reason seems
to be that when you move your fingers to, say, tickle your rib
cage, the cerebellum, which coordinates complex movements,
predicts what that will feel like and sends out a signal to
cancel the sensory response much as the military can jam an
enemy radio transmission if it knows the frequency ahead of
time. But if the tickle comes from someone else, and so is a
surprise, the cerebellum can't block it. Self-tickling thus
seems to make neurons fire in a way that blocks activation of
the part of the brain that ordinarily processes touch.

        Laughter seems intimately entwined with our physiology.
It blocks a neural reflex that regulates muscle tone, proving
that _going weak with laughter_ is more than a metaphor. Tumors
or lesions of the brain's hypothalamus, which regulates basic
processes like respiration, can cause bouts of uncontrolled
laughter. And although laughter seems to have evolved because of
the message it sends to others, it may have a therapeutic effect
on the laugher, too: it can raise heart rate as much as aerobic
exercise, lessen the perception of pain and increase tolerance
of discomfort. While the scientists work out how a good chuckle
does all this, have you heard the one about the priest, the
minister and the rabbi... ?

       ) 2000 Newsweek, Inc.



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