Saturday, May 6, 2017

At a doctor's clinic

One morning at a doctor's clinic a patient arrives complaining of serious back pain. The doctor examines him and asks him: "Tell me what happened to your back...?"

The patient replies: "Sir, I work for a local night club. This morning I went to my apartment early and heard some noise in my bed room. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the balcony door was open.
I rushed out of the balcony door and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he was dressing himself. I was very angry. I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him. It was very heavy... That is how I strained my back.!"

Later that day, a second patient arrives as if he has been in a car wreck.
The doctor said: "My previous patient looked bad..
But you look terrible..
What the hell happened to you ?"

He replied: "You know I have been unemployed for a while now. Today was the first day at my new job... I forgot to set my alarm and I was late... I was running out of the building, getting dressed at the same time. And you won't believe it but I was hit by a fridge. I don't know how and where from this fridge fell on me...!!!"

Before closing hours, the third patient comes. He looks like he was punished in hell.

The doctor is shocked.
He asks: "What the hell happened to you..??"

The patient replies:
"Well, It started like this, I was in a fridge.........."




Thursday, May 4, 2017

A Non Muslim came to an Aalim

A Non Muslim came to an Aalim and asked: Why is it Not Permissible in Islam for a Woman to shake hands with a Man
▶The Aalim said: Can you shake hands with the Queen
▶The Non Muslim said: Of course not, there are only certain people who can shake hands with the Queen.
▶The Aalim then replied: Our Women are Queens and Queens do not shake hands with strange men.

▶Then the Non Muslim asked another Question: Why do your women cover up their bodies
▶The Aalim smiled and got two sweets, he opened the first one and kept the other one closed. He threw them both on the dusty floor and asked the Non Muslim: If I asked you to take one of the sweets from the floor,which one will you take
▶The Non Muslim replied: The covered one of course
▶The Aalim said: That's how we treat and see our women.

▶The Non Muslim then asked: Show me God if he exists.
▶The Aalim Replied: Look straight into the Sun
▶Non muslim Replied: I Can't see, the Rays are hurting my eyes.
▶The Aalim Said: If you can't look at the Creation of God then how will you be able to Look at the Creator

▶Lastly the Non Muslim invited the Aalim to his house and gave him some Grapes, the Aalim eat them, then the Non Muslim offered him a cup of wine, the Aalim refused, the Non Muslim asked him how come you Muslims are forbidden drink wine and yet you eat grapes, although the wine comes from grapes
▶The Aalim Replied: Do you have a daughter?
He said yes,
▶The Aalim asked him could you marry her
▶The Non Muslim said no, the Aalim said SubhanAllah, you marry her mother and can't marry her although she came from her too.





Monday, May 1, 2017

Poket Kosong

Poket Kosong

Imam Masjidil Harram Al-Makki dalam khutbahnya mengatakan:

إحذروا الكيس المثقوب

Hati-hati dengan poket yang kosong

" تتوضأ أحسن وضوء " لكــن. .. تسرف في الماء' كيس مثقْوب
Engkau telah berwuduk dengan sebaik2 wuduk akan tetapi engkau membazir menguna air, (itu sama dengan) poket kosong

" تتصدق عَلى الفقراء بمبلغ ثم .. تذلهم وتضايقهم كيس مثقْوب.
Engkau bersedekah kepada fakir miskin kemudian, engkau menghina dan menyulitkan mereka, (itu seperti)
 poket kosong

تقوم الليل وتصوم النهار وتطيع ربك" لكــن. .. قاطع الرحم كيس مثقْوب
Engkau solat malam hari, puasa di siang hari, dan mentaati tuhanmu, tapi engkau memutuskan (tali) silaturrahm, (jelas itu adalah) poket kosong

تصوم وتصبر عَلى الجوع و العطش" لكـن .. تسب وتشتم وتلعن كيس مثقْوب
Engkau sabar dengan haus dan lapar,  tapi engkau menghina dan mencaci, (sama dengan) poket kosong

" تلبسين الطرحه والعباية فوق الملابس "لكـن .. العطر فواح كيس مثقْوب
Engkau memakai baju kurung dan berjubah, tapi minyak Wangi menyengat, (itu) poket kosong

تكرم ضيفك وتحسن إليه لكـن .. بعد خروجه تغتابه وتخرج مساوئه كيس مثقْوب
Engkau memuliakan tamumu dan berbuat baik kepadanya, tapi setelah dia pergi engkau mengumpatnya, (sungguh itu poket kosong

أخيرا ً لا تجمعوا حسناتكم في كيس مثقْوب . تجمعوها بصعوبة من جهة .. ثم تسقط بسهولة من جهه أخرى..
يا رب اسألك لي ولأحبتي الهداية والغفران .
Pada akhirnya *kamu hanya mengumpulkan kebaikanmu dalam poket kosong,*kamu mengumpulkan dengan susah payah kemudian kamu membazirkannya dengan mudah pula.
Ya Rabb, kami mohon Hidayah dan keampunan atas kami dan orang-orang yang kami cintai.

عجائب الشعب العربي :
Keganjilan-keganjilan orang-orang Arab (secara khusus dan kaum muslimin umumnya)

1- لايستطيع السفر للحج لأن تكلفة الحج مرتفعه .. لكن يستطيع السفر رغبةً في تغيير الجو !
 ألا إن سلعة الله غالية
1. Tidak mampu menunaikan Haji kerana konon belanjanya besar, tetapi sanggup pergi melancung menggantinya, bukankah perdagangan Allah itu mahal

2- لايستطيع شراء الأضحية لغلاء السعر لكن يستطيع شراء آيفون لمواكبة الموضة.
 ألا إن سلعة اللَّـه غالية
2. Tidak sanggup membeli haiwan qurban kerana harganya mahal, tapi sanggup dan mampu membeli iPhone untuk mengganti model yang ada. bukankah perdagangan Allah itu mahal

3- يستطيع قراءة محادثات تصل إلى ١٠٠ محادثه في اليوم ..
ولا يستطيع قراءة ١٠ آيات من القرآن بحجة ليس لديه وقت لقراءة القرآن
ألا إن سلعة الله غالية
Sanggup membaca beratus-ratus mesej (whatsapp, fb dll) setiap hari,  namun tidak sanggup membaca 10 ayat Al-Quran  dengan alasan tiada waktu yang cukup untuk membaca... bukankah perdagangan Allah itu mahal

قليل من سيرسلها لأنه يشعر بالحرج .
Sedikit yang mau menyebarkannya kerana merasa berat dan tak guna.

تخيل ان الله يراك وانت تنشرها لاجله.
Benamkan di fikiranmu bahwa Allah selalu melihatmu. Dan engkau menyebarkannya keranaNya.

 اذا اعجبتك الفكرة ..  فانشرها .
وإذا لم تعجبك .. فمر كأنك لم ترى شيئا.
Jika engkau terpanggil sebab tulisan ini maka sebarkanlah.. Namun jika tidak maka anggap engkau tidak pernah melihatnya..

يارب من يرسلها ترزقه من حيث لايحتسب

Ya Robb siapa yang mau berkongsi tulisan ini berilah rezki dari arah yang tidak disangka-sangka.



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